Harry Potter and the Fresh Blood Prince
by wendy-the-weird
Summary: bCome here, my pretties, and read the story of Harry Potter and the Evil Fish.b
1. Fish Appears

**Harry Potter and the Fresh Blood Prince**

_A/N: Nothing belongs to me except the words, etc. But more importantly, you should know that a dream inspired this story. And as we all know, not much is logical in dreams._

When Harry woke up that crisp winter morning, he couldn't think what that oversized goldfish was doing swimming around in a bowl at the foot of his bed. He didn't own a goldfish, did he? And if he did, he certainly wouldn't have left it within kicking range all night.

But it was beginning to all come back to him. He'd been to Hogsmeade yesterday with Ron and Hermione... there had been a lot of butterbeer around, yes... He vaguely remembered howling with laughter as he and Ron staggered into Patsy's Pretty Pets. Oh. Yes. Ron had been prattling about having no gold. And he, Harry, had said something about buying the biggest goldfish in the shop to cheer him up.

He groaned and rubbed his forehead with both hands. Ron must have put the fish on his bed before they went to sleep. The fish leered at him with its unblinking eyes and a manic grin. Harry made a face, and reached for his glasses.

"Ron," he called.

No answer.

Harry reached a hand out to the next bed and poked the bundle of blankets curled up on it. "Ron!"

The bundle twisted and grunted, "Yamma mzcwycs.." and became still again.

Harry sighed. Then he sat up on his bed, reached across, and tugged at the blankets till they came free. Ron shivered, and sat up. "What?" He said, annoyed.

"Take your goldfish back," Harry said.

"You woke me up for _that_?"

"Oy, take it. I could've kicked it over in my sleep. Why'd you put it on my bed?"

"Go away," said Ron, gathering his blankets around him again. "It's not my fish. You bought it."

Harry frowned, and pulled Ron's blankets off again. "I bought it for you. Take it!"

"Stop doing that!" Ron yelled. "It's not bloody mine just because you want it to be mine. Now shut up and let me sleep."

He tucked his blankets firmly around his gangly body, and turned away from Harry in a final way.

Harry yawned and looked at the goldfish, which was still staring at him unblinkingly. A fish. He'd bought a _fish._ How come Hermione hadn't stopped him from buying it? Then he shrugged, and went off to brush his teeth and get dressed for breakfast.

In Charms, while Flitwick was busy undoing the effects of Seamus Finnigan's latest attempt at performing a Get Lost Spell, Harry turned to Hermione. "D'you know what goldfish eat?"

Hermione stared. "What?"

"Goldfish. What do they eat? Worms and such, I expect?"

"How should I kn- Since when do you have a _goldfish?_"

"I bought it for Ron yesterday, but he doesn't want it. Weren't you there?"

"So that's where you disappeared to! I was looking all over for you both, then Ginny told me she'd seen you heading back to the castl-"

"Well, do you know what goldfish eat or not?" Harry interrupted impatiently.

"No," said Hermione, sounding acutely embarrassed.

Harry started to grin, but stopped himself. "Well, I guess I'll try and find a couple of worms in the greenhouses after the lesson."

For the rest of the lesson, he concentrated on learning how to make a creature go round and round in continuous right turns until it got hopelessly lost.

The lesson ended soon enough, and Harry made his way out of the front doors towards the greenhouses. He had just rounded a corner when he ran straight into Lupin.

"Oh, sorry, Profes-" he began, but Lupin waved him into silence.

"No damage done, Harry," he said, smiling. "See you in class."

Rubbing his forehead, which had knocked into a button on Professor Lupin's robes, Harry rooted around in the loose soil that covered the floor of the greenhouse. He found a couple of earwigs and an earthworm, and satisfied, he made his way back to the Gryffindor common room.

The common room was empty except for a couple of pesky third years who were trying to annoy Harry's goldfish, which was now sitting on a desk in the far corner. Harry shooed them away without much trouble; it was useful, at times, having two prefects for best friends. The goldfish swam around the bowl, unconcerned, as Harry took it to the dormitory, wondering how to feed the worms to the fish.

Was he supposed to simply drop the worms into the water and hope the fish would eat it? Or should he try to levitate the fish out of water for a minute, and then force its mouth open and drop the worms in? Somehow, he didn't think the fish would take kindly to being pulled out from its watery home...

So he experimentally dropped one of the earwigs into the water. The fish simply swam around, ignoring the worm quite pointedly.

"Come on, Fish," Harry urged under his breath. "Eat up."

As though it had been waiting for the cue, Fish suddenly sprang right out of the fishbowl in a giant leap. Harry gasped and tried to catch it, but before he could even stretch his arm out to grab it, Fish had changed into a man in glittering golden robes.

For a few moments, Harry was struck incoherent. "Wh- Fish... Who... _Animagus_?"

"Who, me?" asked Fish. "No, I'm a fish."

"You're a man," Harry pointed out.

"Yeah, I can take this form when I want to. Worked hard for it, you know. But I'm a fish."

"What d'you mean you're a fish?" Harry demanded. "You're... talking... and everything."

"I was born a fish," explained Fish, patiently. "I just learned to change forms from one of the Mermen. Pretty dangerous thing for a fish to do, really. Just look at all the Merpeople."

Harry's head was reeling. "What about them?"

"Well, their ancestors all tried to become human, didn't they? It just didn't go off like they expected, I suppose. Now they're stuck being half and half. That's what happens when you have bad technique."

Harry nodded dumbly. "So ... what do you want?"

"How's about something for the tummy, eh?"

Harry looked doubtfully at the remaining worms in his hand.

Fish stopped his train of thought quickly. "Not that, you idiot. Bleaarrgghh."

"Well, what do you eat?"

"I drink," said Fish. "Got any fresh blood?"

Harry jumped about six inches, and stared at Fish for a moment. Then he shook his head. "I'm dreaming."

Eh?"

"You're a fish who can become a human, and you drink ... fresh blood... right?"

"Yeah, so?"

Harry nodded. "I'm dreaming."

"Oh," said Fish, his eyes brightening. "I've heard about dreams! It happens when you... er... sleeve, doesn't it? What's it like?" He asked eagerly.

"Sleep," Harry corrected. "You've _heard_ about dreams?"

"Oh yes, I know all about them." Fish nodded wisely. "More than any other fish, at least. That boy - Tom - he told me the last time I was in here."

Harry's neck snapped up so suddenly that he heard his joints crack. "T- Tom? Who? You've been in Hogwarts before?"

"Yeah, that was the first time I'd managed to become a man. There was this boy, Tom Puzzle or something, his name was... I stayed in his room for a while, but it was so dark and stinky in there, I got tired and escaped from the bathroom. I'm a fresh-water fish, you know," he said, bobbing his head proudly. "Need some sunlight and such."

Harry was still coming to grips with what Fish was saying. "You stayed with T-Tom-?"

"He was mighty nice to me, he was," Fish interrupted peevishly. "Never kept me hungry like this."

"You mean he gave you fresh blood? How!"

"Took me to some room ... there was this old guy dozing in a chair, and Tom just told me to go ahead and drink." Fish grinned maniacally. "Tom told me no one would miss the guy - he was the most boring teacher ever."

"Boring teacher?" Harry repeated, uncomprehendingly. "You drank the bl- you killed a teacher? Who was it?"

"Stout old man, frizzy white hair sticking up from the back of his head, round glasses perched on his nose..." said Fish, and added, after a pause, "Loud snorer."

"Boring teacher... frizzy white hair, round glasses..." Something clicked in Harry's mind. "Oh my God, you killed Binns!"

"Oh that was his name, was it?" Fish said reminiscently. "I never knew. Most delicious."

Harry stood speechless, not knowing what to say.

"Well, how about a spot of lunch then, eh?" Fish said, rubbing his hands.

Harry's mind sprung into action. "You're going straight back into the pond," he said, whipping his wand out of his pocket. "Or I'll curse you."

Fish looked taken aback. "But why?"

"You're a killer, that's why. I'm not Tom Riddle, you know. I'm not going to help you murder someone."

"Then how do I eat?" Fish said, plaintively.

"Whatever you ate at the fish store. Or when you were in your pond. Or whatever. I don't care. In fact, I'm going to kick you out of Hogwarts right now."

Harry swished his wand and uttered the most powerful banishing spell he could think of. Sure enough, Fish zoomed straight out of the window and away over the lake towards Hogsmeade. In his mind, Harry concentrated on the Shrieking Shack, willing Fish into it with all his might. The Shrieking Shack was deserted, now that Lupin no longer used it. It was the perfect place to imprison Fish. Harry had a shrewd idea that Fish, being a fish, wouldn't be able to find his way back to the castle.

The next morning, Harry woke up to find an unusually large goldfish swimming around in a bowl at the foot of his bed. Harry squinted at it. He didn't own a goldfish, did he? And if he did, he certainly wouldn't have left it ...

Harry sat up, suddenly wide awake. "You!" He yelled at Fish. "How did you get back here!"

In the bed next to him, Ron sat up immediately. "What? Harry? What happened?"

"Fish... he's back! I didn't tell you yesterday, Ron, but this fish can turn into a man! He's evil! He drinks fresh blood," Harry said as he hurriedly rummaged through his drawer for his wand. The goldfish swam around, unconcerned.

Ron was regarding him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you all right, mate? You sure it wasn't a dream or something?"

"Ah-ha!" said Harry, straightening up with his wand pointed straight at the fish. "Ron, I'm not crazy. This fish is evil."

Harry felt Ron's eyes on his for a long minute. "Okay," Ron said finally. "Protect me from the fish, then, if you want to." He turned and went back to sleep.

"Well, you're not fooling me," Harry told Fish under his breath. "I've got my eye on you."

_More A/Ns: "Fresh Blood Prince" is what my boyfriend insists on calling HBP. Yes, this is his dream._

_Stay tuned for the concluding half of this story, which, I may as well warn you, gets all bizarro and kills off some well-loved characters. Special appearance by Sirius's old motorbike._


	2. Fish Doesn't Disappear

**Harry Potter and the Fresh Blood Prince**

_A/N: Once more, I warn you that a dream inspired this story. Prepare for some serious wackiness. Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed. I am amazed at the enthusiastic response I got. I'd expected at least a couple of people to offer either me or my boyfriend some therapy. But anyway. Read on... _

_Story so far: There is a goldfish in a bowl on Harry's bed. This Fish can turn into a man. This man drinks fresh blood for nourishment. During his previous visit to Hogwarts, Tom Riddle allowed him to kill Binns to get this fresh blood, but Harry likes most of his living Professors too much to make Fish a similar offer. _

Later that day, as soon as they found a free hour together, Harry, Ron and Hermione tromped their way across the snow to Hagrid's hut. Hermione was trying to melt a path through the snow, but Harry was going too fast for her to keep up. Finally, Ron gave up.

"Are we trying to run away from somebody here?"

Harry glared at him. "I've left Fish alone up in the castle. We can't take all day - there's no telling what he'll do!"

"But Harry... are you sure you really saw this man?" Hermione said from behind him.

Harry stopped abruptly and turned around, and Hermione nearly ran into him.

"He's a fish, not a man. Look, I didn't dream this or anything, OK? If you don't believe me, you don't have to come with me."

Hermione looked stubborn. "But Harry," she said, in a terribly patient voice, "don't you see? I tried to look it up, but there's nothing - nothing! - about goldfish with the ability to turn into human beings. No books, no research parchments, nothing! And... Madame Pince _laughed_ at me when I told her what I was looking for," she said, glaring reproachfully at Harry.

Harry was growing increasingly irritated. "Well there wouldn't be anything in a _human_ library, would there? Fish is a fish. Maybe there'll be something in fishes' libraries!" he huffed. "And since _humans_ can't possibly read in _fishes'_ libraries, we'll just have to ask Hagrid if he knows anything about this!"

Hermione stared at him as if he had gone quite mad, and then began to walk ahead again, muttering under her breath. Harry followed after her. His mood didn't improve when he saw her roll her eyes in Ron's direction.

In a few minutes, they were knocking on Hagrid's large, wooden door. Hagrid answered the door, wearing goggles and a large, grimy apron. Standing in the middle of Hagrid's cramped hut was a gleaming motorbike.

Ron was staring at it as if he'd never seen anything like it. "What's that?" he whispered in an awed voice.

Hermione was looking at it with her eyebrows knitted close together. Before she could say anything, however, Harry jumped in. "Wow, Hagrid! Where did you get a motorbike?"

"Anybody want some tea?" Hagrid asked in a loud voice, avoiding Harry's eyes and walking to the small stove in the corner of the room.

Ron, meanwhile, seemed to be catching on. "A motorbike? It's one of those ... loud Muggle things Dean talks about? The one Colin's dad's got?"

Harry nodded, running his hands over the smooth leather seat. "You know, I had a dream I rode a motorbike once - a flying motorbike. It was great."

A loud clatter sounded from the other side of the room, and Hagrid roared an oath. He had dropped the kettle he had been holding on his toes. And the door to Hagrid's hut opened again, and Professor McGonagall came in, looking scandalised at what she'd just heard.

"Good morning, Hagrid," she said, in a tight voice. "I just came by to see if you had any... er... earwig repellent. Professor Snape has been setting them loose in my cupboard again."

"Jus' a minute, Professor, jus' a minute. Er... help yourself to some biscuits while I get it."

Professor McGonagall sniffed. Then, shrugging, she reached and took a biscuit, and took a small bite out of it before she noticed Harry, Ron and Hermione.

She raised her eyebrows questioningly at them. It struck Harry that Professor McGonagall might know about Fish, too - fish becoming humans was a form of transfiguration, after all.

"Er... Professor?" he said, hesitantly.

"Yes, Potter?"

"I was just wondering..." he began to trail off, because Hermione and Ron were shooting him exasperated looks.

"Well?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Ignoring Ron and Hermione, Harry took a deep breath and plunged into his story. McGonagall listened with rapt attention, her face growing more and more serious as Harry described Fish, and related the entire conversation with him.

"And then, I don't know how, but he just seems to have got back inside the castle somehow, because he was back in his bowl this morning. I've left him locked in my trunk up in Gryffindor Tower, but I don't know if he can break free," Harry finished.

McGonagall seemed to snap out of her shock. "Come with me, you three," she said, and set off at a running pace back towards the castle.

Harry, Ron and Hermione hurried to catch up with her. Hermione looked bewildered that McGonagall was taking this seriously. "But Professor, is there really a way for fish to become human?" she asked, panting as she waded through the snow.

McGonagall sighed. "Not that I know of, Miss Granger. However, Harry's explanation of Professor Binns's death fits all the facts - we have never been able to explain it. We must proceed on the assumption that everything that Harry has narrated is true."

They had reached the entrance hall. McGonagall turned to the trio. "You three, please go to the Headmaster's office immediately and inform him of this. I am going to retrieve this _Fish_ from Gryffindor Tower."

The ghost of Sirius stopped them on their way to the Headmaster's office.

"Woooooo," said the ghost.

Harry, Ron and Hermione stared. "S-S-Sirius?" Harry stammered.

"_Sirius_?" enquired a flabbergasted voice from behind them. It was Professor Lupin. "Wh-wha- why-..."

The ghost put an end to Lupin's stuttering. "Wooooooooooo," it said, again. Hermione took a step back, and grabbed Ron's hand. Ron looked at her, bewildered.

"It's only a ghost, Hermione. You're not _scared_, are you?"

"Wooooooooooo," came the voice of the ghost, shutting conversation off again.

Harry, meanwhile, began to come to his senses. His eyes narrowed as he regarded the ghost with suspicion. Was it really Sirius? Or was Fish masquerading as him?

As if in answer to his thoughts, Fish himself floated out from behind a pillar, grinning eerily. "Ooh, is that Professor for me?" he asked, his eyes planted eagerly on Lupin.

Harry sprung into action. "_Stupefy!_" he yelled, pointing his wand at Fish.

Fish ducked the spell, his grin turning into a sneer as easily as Fish himself had turned into a man. "Here's someone _else_ you might want to meet, Harry," he said, gesturing towards the pillar he had been hiding behind.

And as Harry watched, out floated the pearly white, translucent figure of James Potter.

Harry nearly dropped his wand in surprise. Behind him, he heard Lupin gasp, and actually drop his. Ron and Hermione seemed dumbstruck by the whole affair.

Fish, taking advantage of the diversion, ran towards Lupin, knocking him off his feet, and grabbed Lupin's wand. Without waiting a single moment to gloat, he pointed the wand at Lupin and killed him.

It was over in a split-second. Ron was the first to react. He jumped bodily on Fish, yelling loudly for help. His long, gangly arms grasped Fish in a vice-like grip around the torso, and began to squeeze the breath out of the creature. Harry stood rooted to the spot, looking from Lupin's body to Fish to Sirius behind him, and then to the ghost of his father standing behind Sirius. His eyes were wide with shock, and he was utterly unable to move.

Hermione, like Ron, also seemed to be reacting. "Ron!" she cried, "I know what to do. When I say _now_, let Fish go, and let me take care of him!" A pause. "_NOW_!"

Ron let go of Fish, and Hermione pointed her wand at Fish and yelled, "_GET LOSTUS!_"

But Fish was too clever for them. He ducked the spell neatly, and Get Lost spell hit Sirius instead, and Sirius began to walk in continuous right turns, turning and turning until he went right out of Hogwarts and got hopelessly lost.

Undeterred, Hermione tried again, but Fish ducked once more - and this time, the spell hit James Potter's ghost, and he, too, began to take continuous right turns.

"Dad!" yelled Harry, trying to grab onto him. "Wait, dad!"

But there was nothing Harry could do. On and on James went, turning right over and over again, until finally, he was gone, just the way Sirius had gone.

Harry looked around at Fish, quivering with rage. "YOU!" he screamed. "Just _WAIT_ till I get my hands on you, you rotten f-"

A stern, icy voice interrupted, "That is quite enough, Mr. Potter."

Harry whirled around. He hadn't noticed anything in his absolute anger, but in through the window flew Hagrid on his gleaming motorbike, Professor McGonagall sitting side-saddle behind him. McGonagall had her wand trained on Fish as she spoke to Harry. "Now," she said, "is this the fish you were telling me about, Potter?"

"Yes," said Harry.

"_Oilium!_" cried Professor McGonagall, and her spell hit Fish straight in the chest.

Harry, Ron and Hermione watched fascinated as Fish began to scream. His face, his hands, his torso, his legs - everything seemed to be melting and dissolving into some kind of glowing, golden, gooey substance. After a while, Fish began to resemble an oversized, shining goldfish, but even that began to melt until all that was left was a puddle of shimmering, oily liquid floating in the air.

The liquid moved of its own accord towards the motorbike, and Harry shouted in surprise, "Look out!" but McGonagall waved him to silence. The oil ignored McGonagall and Hagrid completely and instead began to pour itself onto the mechanical joints of the motorbike.

"This motorbike will never creak again," McGonagall said.

Then Hagrid and McGonagall dismounted from it, and Hagrid came to Harry. "This was Sirius's bike, Harry," he said. "Sirius would've wanted you ter have it."

Harry gave McGonagall and Hagrid and Ron and Hermione a wide grin, and accepted the flying motorbike.

But he shouldn't have been so happy about it. The bike never did get creaky joints, but because the essence of Fish was in it, it kept breaking down often, and never worked very well again.

**The End**

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